4chan On Fox 11 News: Truly Epic Lulz

 Ebaumsworld has done it again. Exploding van intensifies!
  Hahaha oh wow, you made me LOL America.
HACKERS ON STEROIDS, TREATING THE WEB LIKE A REAL-LIFE VIDEOGAME!
DOMESTIC TERRORIST!
INTERNET HATE MACHINE!
ANONYMOUS HAS SECRET WEBSIGHTS!
ANYONE POSTING THERE IS REQUIRED TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS!
UNDERGROUND HACKER SITE LINKED TO ANONYMOUS!
THOUSANDS OF STOLEN PASSWORDS ON THAT SITE!
CHAOS, DISORDER AND RUINING PEOPLE'S LIVES!
LULZ IS A CORRUPTION OF LOL!
ANONYMOUS GETS BIG LULZ FROM PULLING RANDOM PRANKS!
TRULY EPIC LULZ COMES FROM RAIDS AND INVASIONS!
VOLDEMORT KILLS SNAKE!
ANONYMOUS BRANDED HIM AS A LULZ KILLER, ACCUSING HIM OF RUINING THEIR FUN!
YOU GOT THE INFORMATION NOW. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. GO! GO! GO!

PS: Whoever the brave Habbo Anonymous of Ebaumsworld who spoiled the contents of Harry Potter in front of a large crowd of children and Potheads deserves a place among Demigods and martyrs.


HOW TO PREVENT DOMESTIC TERRORISM BY ANONYMOUS SEEKING EPIC LULZ

1. Draw the curtains down.
2. Install electronic security.
3. Install a phone tracing system.
4. Buy a dog.
5. Call FBI.
6. Blame Ebaumsworld.
7. Throw the Internet away to the Recycle Bin or via Add/Remove Programs (NOTE: it might take some time to dispose several billion Petabytes of files).
8. Become an hero.